Sunday, November 1, 2009


I'm glad that college lets me be creative and witty in every way except for in my classes. The evidence of this can be seen in the pattern of my slipping grades and late nights. I have the mind to kill anyone in a battle of words, but once I sit down to write a serious paper, my mind goes blank. I digress. My roommates and I have taken up the politically incorrect habit of making up nicknames for those whose names we can't seem to recollect. These nicknames more often than not stick once we get to know said people. These are just a few of my favorite examples:

Japan Girl: A girl that lives next door to us, we know that her name is Rebecca and address her as such to her face, but behind the back we call her Japan Girl. Of course she doesn't look Japanese at all, but for some reason this name is a hard one to shake. I think we all just can't wrap our fingers around the idea that someone from Japan doesn't look like it.

Ursula: We bequeathed our over-zealous Relief Society president with this one. We know her name too, but Ursula fits. She acts nothing like the evil queen from The Little Mermaid, but we all have noticed a slight resemblance.

Ethel: Known as "Eth" around our apartment and behind closed doors. Elliot Seibold may or may not be my college crush. Something about this 26 or so year old is just so enticing to me. I'm not even sure how this nickname was started, but part of me wants to say that it was because Margot thought his name was Ethel for the longest time. What can I say? I have a thing for glasses and eloquence.

Rosie O'Donnel: Just an annoying sophomore that lives in our dorm and talks way too loud so that the entire world can hear the conversation. She doesn't even sound like Rosie, and yet we all see it. We found out today that her name is reality is Aubrey. I can't make myself call her by her birth name.

Lucky Charms: Japan Girl's BFF. She told everyone within a 2 mile radius on the first day of college that her favorite thing to do is eat. The next day, I venture out of our apartment to find her screaming over the phone to her mother about one of her roommates eating her Lucky Charms. Needless to say she was infuriated. This discovery sparked my invention of the nickname "Lucky Charms" because her favorite pass time was hindered by her absence of cereal and I was appalled that someone would steal something so precious from someone else.

Joaquin Pheonix: No, he looks nothing like the hare-lipped movie star, and acts nothing like him either. I wouldn't know though, considering that he and I have exchanged not one word. Nevertheless, he was in a quite steamy relationship with the previously mentioned Rosie O'Donnel. This said relationship must have ended poorly because Rosie and Joaquin are no longer speaking or scratching one another's backs in church. Oh College.

Steve Kimple: We refer to him fondly as "Mr Acne", a name that was stolen by Margot's youngest brother, Drew. He is nothing but an overly- passionate PE teacher that thinks he's cool because he teaches college weight training. He permanently stalks us during our nightly gym visits, and he and Margot always acknowledge one another with the casual nod. He's a creep, but I know that Courtney has a secret wish to twirl his luscious blonde mustache.

The Midget: I save this one for last because I realize it is the most horrible and politically unacceptable. We do, in fact, have a midget living a few doors down from us. We didn't get the privilege of learning her name until much later into this semester. ( I chalk this up to my family's inordinate midget fear.) She is a sweet girl though, always willing and happy to be social. Her real name is Mikayla.

My roommates and I are mean I think. Sometimes we have long conversations about the previously mentioned people. Oh well, that's what college is for. Finding yourself, right? More nicknames are sure to surface in the near future. Naturally, they will appear on my blog.


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  2. Here's a nickname for you...Lizard. hahaha I'm sure the origin of that one is clear. I love your writing...who knew you were so great with words? I don't think I have ever heard you speak more than 5 or 6 at a time. Anyhoo, I'm your first follower. woot woot!! So excited to hear more. Don't freeze. Hugs:o) Kelli

  3. welcome to the blogging world, it's good to have ya! hahaha. i love that you nickname people around the floor, and i'm incredibly jealous that you have roommates to join you in the talking crap part. all of the people i associate with are from utah, and therefore too righteous and holy to talk smack. i'm slowing cracking them.

  4. I love this post. You are so amazing and the hilarity of the whole thing is wonderful! I am so glad you are blogging! It make my world a better place! Can't wait to see you this weekend!

  5. Annete Anyone: A wide-eyed blonde with dreams too big for the humble library that she works in. A hidden treasure, a secret life, a powerful spear is what she clings to as she craves to be in the presence of Noone. With Flynn at her side she can take on any matter the species. But she is always secretly seeking the approval of a certain Marine who will not be named. We know her real name is Paige...but only in the prologue in the book of her life.